Sunday, October 21, 2012

Perfect Love

I’ve always believed the only way to be happy is to love. And I usually fall in love with things immediately. I love everything new until it fails me. Perhaps it’s a food I eat every day till it either makes me sick or loses its flavor. Or a song I play on repeat until I know every word and its mystery unravels. Or a person I devote all my attention to and love unconditionally until they give me a reason to pull back. Because the end result of this behavior can sometimes be disappointment, hurt, and pain, this fearless approach to love is not usually the path most traveled, but I give everything the benefit of being perfect until it’s not... No filters, no reservations... I love like a child. 

This might be a self-destructive path when I was in High School or college, but as an adult I've been proactive in making choices that support my well-being and happiness. I'm self aware now whereas before I simply followed the path of an average adolescent and watched my life happen. I'm making the proactive choice to open all the doors and fear not the pain I see necessary for growth.

I choose to allow uncertainty into my life as a way of growth. I want the ultimate experience! However, I do not allow any life threatening dangers as I am OCD about preserving my life and and the lives of my surrounding company. There's a very precious value on a heartbeat, and no experience is worth risking the rhythm of that beat.

Children view each day as an opportunity for joy. And as adults we have to get back in touch with that perspective. We all have the potential to turn away from fear and worry, and instead face the sunlight each and every day. Adults don't like being vulnerable or being in a position where they could be hurt, and many would argue by taking this position, I'm opening myself up to hurt. But in doing so, I believe I’m opening myself up to experience the greatest love that can ever be and an infinite stream of possibilities. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. I’ve discovered a willingness to continuously have faith and risk being disappointed. I’ve found –even disappointments can be quite rewarding. There’s a sense of understanding and clarity that can only be reached by the risky child-like traveler.

The one perhaps who leaves his memories/caution, fears, and worries behind –and instead travels light. Such a heavy mindset may prevent us from traveling down certain paths or making our own way, and this simply limits our experience and ultimate understanding. It's not being reckless in our ways because we unfortunately can not forget the "bad" experiences that we had to learn from, but we don't have to let our scars become mental blocks and boundaries. Are we unwilling participants because we rather not ‘lose?’ Do we only allow ourselves to love when it's safe and a guaranteed win? Personally, I find the reward in the journey and not the trophy, but I’ve never been a collector of things.

Even those who claim to be completely open in the beginning of a relationship, tend to become less and less open as the relationship progresses. Unfortunately, I find they stop getting to know the other person as well. They believe deception is sexy and by keeping your unfavorable attributes and opinions to yourself, this allows your partner to sustain attraction to you. But there’s only one result of deception and keeping those personal details to yourself –DIVORCE! I want to be loved for all that I am, all of the good and all of the bad. I want that person to know about and accept embrace every freckle. The scars, the imperfections, and the stories behind them are what make us real and beautiful.

People weren’t always as opinionated and open as they are today, but I’m hoping this willingness to expose even our inner most dark and ‘unattractive’ attributes, will promote greater acceptance and allow for unimaginable Love... Because happiness only exists when it is shared.

It is said that love only comes around once. But if you allow yourself to be that fearless unscathed child, that’s once a day, once an hour, once a minute, once a breath. Love can be endless.